This documentary about the renown comic and cult media expo excites the geek in me greatly. Hopefully Morgan Spurlocks annoying, talky-round-hole racket won’t detract from the fascinating freaks and geeks appearing on screen.

Lockout should be total bullshit. And it may well turn out to be, but I have a feeling it may just be amazing..

I saw the trailer the other day and when you hear the words: ‘There’s only one man for the job. He’s the best there is….but he’s a loose cannon..’ it means that this may well be a love letter to classic cheese fest action gems like Con Air and Escape from New York.

The plot sounds ridiculous, in a really good way: There’s a big ol’ prison in space because all the inmates are such bastards that they need to be as far away from the gen pop as possible. For some stupid and implausible reason the Presidents daughter is also on this Joliet space clink in some kind of work experience/community service capacity and then the prisoners riot and of they have to get some schmuck to go up there and get her out. That schmuck is Guy Pierce, playing some kind of wise-cracking, bad boy maverick.

Now tell me that doesn’t tickle you slightly…

And then there’s Beyond The Black Rainbow. It just looks mental.

Tom.

Trailers for all three below:-

Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope
Lockout

Beyond The Black Rainbow

What a ridiculous movie. 

I saw it when it came out having read the book and mildly enjoyed it as a holiday read. On first viewing I thought it was awful but for some reason, out of boredom/insanity etc I just put it on and man, is it stupid. 

First of all, Tom Hanks is poorly cast. In the book Robert Langdon is described as Harrison Ford-esque. I’m very glad that Harrison didn’t touch this piece of garbage but at least he would have shouted more and maybe incorporated some kind of ‘give me back my family’ angle into the fantastically poor script. And what the hell is up with that haircut? Did Robert langdon have a lobotomy previous to being called upon to solve the mystery of Christ’s supposed nipper? He makes Nic Cage look like a follicular trend setter.

Also, how on earth did the unfortunate old codger at the beginning manage to scrawl a load of cryptic shit all over the walls, floor and his own dying flesh after being shot in the chest? He basically managed to redecorate the Louvre before popping his clogs with a heap of misleading tosh that only his granddaughter and Forrest Gump could decipher.

Paul Bettany is a fine actor but has a habit of choosing really awful films to work on. In this he plays a mental, albino, killer monk who runs (and drives) about killing folk and trying to prevent people finding out about the Jesus baby. When did he get his drivers license? And did the instructor find it a bit odd that every time they pulled to a stop his student would nail his head off of the steering wheel in an act of self flagellation for not indicating? He must have taken his test a few times unless he decided to wear a particularly low-cut robe that day. 

So there’s Tom Hanks running about explaining the vastly convoluted storyline as he goes followed by Amelie, who at one point chats up a junkie and gets him to bugger off so she and Tom have a nice bench to sit on and think about their preposterous quest. 

We know Tom Hanks is a fine actor, why then in The Duhhh Vinci Code is he as wooden as the cross Christ was nailed to? I think it must be the hair…

The whole story fits together like lots of square pegs being rammed in to round holes. The book itself, ridiculous as it is, works as a trashy, pulp fiction page turner, giving the reader a cliffhanger at the end of each chapter. But it just doesn’t work as a film.

Rant over.

Tom.

samuelglassjr asked: Thanks for the recommendation! I happen to like IN BRUGES...a LOT, and that's a movie I try to get more people to see, so I will definitely be putting THE GUARD in my Netflix queue....

I promise you, you will love it. Gleeson is a legend.

theycallmemos asked: have you seen Six Shooter?

I haven’t! But I know of its existence and in fact I made a note to watch it because I saw that Martin Mcdonagh directed. Better than In Bruges?

So I’ve seen this movie four times now, most of the repeat watches have been in order to get other people to watch it because it’s that good. If you saw and liked In Bruges, it has a similar feel, and not only does it star the mighty Brendon Gleeson, it is directed by John Micheal McDonagh, brother to In Bruges director Martin.

Gleeson plays Sergeant Gerry Boyle, a sarcastic, unorthodox Gallway policeman (Garda) who is forced to team up with FBI agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) in order to take on a band of drug smugglers.

Very dark humour but some fantastic swearing and cinematography, not to mention a host of memorable, quotable dialogue. At first you might have a little trouble understanding the thick Irish accents but once your ears are acclimatised it’s laden with laughs.

Go and rent this instead of Friends with Benefits and maybe we can shave a few bucks off of Justin Timberlake’s royalty check…

Tom.

So I’ve decided that I’m gonna make this a film blog rather than just reviews. So along with the odd review I will mostly be rattling off recommendations, rants and general bullshit about movies and TV shows that everyone should watch.

Ok?!!?!?

Good.

Tom.